But Smith quickly flips the script. It’s still the first episode, and Smith (just five weeks from the end of his “best shape” training regimen) is sitting on a weight bench looking utterly depleted, both physically and emotionally. “I think I don’t want to do any of this. I’m finished with The Best Shape of My Life,” he says. He stands up, takes off his microphone, and walks away. The rest of the episodes in the series (there are six in total, available on Smith’s YouTube channel) explain what led Smith to that point. We learn that Smith had set a goal to lose 20 pounds in 20 weeks, and to finish his autobiography in the same time frame. We watch him working out, attending nutrition consultations, and reading his in-progress memoir to friends and family. But only a week into the project, unexpected weight gain sends Smith spiraling and causes him to question his current project and all the life choices that have led up to that point. The series shows Smith grappling not just with writing and weight lifting, but with the high expectations he’s set for himself and the fallout when he struggles to meet them. This is striking because it’s relatable. Pursuits like the one Smith embarked on (to lose weight and make himself over) can indeed heighten emotions and push not just our physical limits, but also our mental ones, too, according to the psychiatrist Julian Lagoy, MD, of Community Psychiatry in San Jose, California. “With any kind of transformation, physical or emotional, it’s possible and even likely that you’ll encounter challenges you didn’t expect,” he says. If a change is purely physical — like Smith’s goal to get fit — it may feel even more unexpected to have emotional difficulties crop up, says Dr. Lagoy. But that doesn’t mean it’s negative when they do. “This may be a chance to learn much more about yourself than you thought,” he says. Smith’s experience offers these important insights into the relationship between mental and physical health, according to Lagoy and others. RELATED: What Is Self-Care, and Why Is It So Important for Your Health?
1. Negative Thinking Breeds Negative Results
Smith’s weight loss mission seems straightforward enough: lose 20 pounds in 20 weeks. Considering that many people have gained weight during the pandemic that they’d like to lose, it seems like a reasonable (and popular) aim. And his projected pace is sustainable, judging by comments his personal trainer, Aaron Ferguson, makes in the show. But for Smith, those 20 pounds are wrapped up with disgust, recrimination, and disappointment. At one point in the series, Smith looks at a cutout of himself from the movie Men in Black and talks about how mad his younger self would be to see this older guy with a “dad bod.” Although self-blame can be motivating initially, that motivation doesn’t last long, says Lagoy. It’s particularly demotivating to compare yourself with a younger version of you, because you’re dwelling on what you’ve lost rather than focusing on what you can achieve in the future by making positive changes, he says. “This all comes down to intention and how you view yourself,” he says. Making a change because you view yourself in a negative way is going to breed negativity. Making a change because you want to gain something positive is going to bolster self-love. When it comes to setting goals that have to do with getting healthier or changing behaviors, Lagoy suggests centering them on what you’ll get out of it (fitness, consistency, a better sleep schedule, or a healthier weight). RELATED: Here’s How to Show Yourself Some Self-Compassion
2. Stressful Life Events Can Be a Catalyst
A major nudge for Smith’s project came from his desire to get out of a pandemic-induced slump. In the show, he admits to living a fairly sedentary lifestyle and overeating comfort foods during this stressful time. Although major life events can cause us to lapse into unhealthy habits like these, they can also act as a catalyst for positive change, according to Lagoy. “Often, the major barrier for making large-scale changes is motivation,” he says. “But when you have these big, possibly stressful life events, you’re inclined to want to change more than you would otherwise.” The trick is to view major life events as motivation to make a positive push forward, rather than as a cause to punish yourself for less-healthy behaviors, says Haylie Yakrus, a national certified counselor at The Berman Center in Atlanta. (Remember that point about negative thinking breeding negative results?) “This shouldn’t be about feeling bad about what’s been happening,” she says. “Instead, you’re trying to feel inspired. The stressful life event can turn into a beautiful change when you approach it from that angle.” RELATED: Tips for Getting Back Into a Workout Routine if the Pandemic Disrupted Yours
3. Exercise Can Be Really Emotional
As Smith discovered, the experience of beginning intense workouts can lead to a flood of emotions, says Garret Seacat, CSCS, a trainer with Absolute Endurance personal training and endurance coaching in Manhattan, Kansas. Exercise that is unfamiliar or challenging may prompt you to think back on past struggles. For many, exercise is connected to body image and, for some, judgment about how they see or value themselves. “This doesn’t just occur [for] beginners; even the most experienced athlete can have this happen,” Seacat says. Emotional breakthroughs can feel overwhelming if you don’t see them coming, adds Lagoy. In the series, Smith seems blindsided by the feelings his project provokes. In episode one, he stands looking dejected after his first weigh-in (because he gained a pound even after daily, intense workouts), and calls the whole project into question. “Helping people evolve?” he says. “That’s stupid.” As strong feelings arise for you (like this example of Smith’s self-criticism), take time to acknowledge and pay attention to them; it’ll help you work through them, Lagoy explains. If you find that a new workout program or fitness regimen is bringing up new or complicated feelings you’re not able to cope with on your own, Lagoy suggests talking with a therapist or other mental health professional. RELATED: A Psychiatrist’s Guide to Finding a Mental Health Care Provider
4. Rest Days Are for Your Body and Your Mind
In episode four of the show, we see Smith starting week 15 — but we’ve already learned this week will end with him quitting the project, and as the episode progresses, we come to find out why. He already looks exhausted, but he decides to dial up his schedule anyway. That means a run in the morning, followed by two workouts, hours of writing, another run in the evening, and about four hours of sleep. As the days tick by, Smith looks more and more depleted until, by Thursday of that week, he’s a no-show at workout sessions. Although Smith’s trainer, Aaron Ferguson, says that it’s okay to take occasional rest breaks as needed, it’s clear he’s disappointed. Smith’s clinical psychologist, Ramani Durvasula, PhD, says in the episode: “Will is so focused on his goals he doesn’t consider his limits.” She adds: “The more a person is stretched, sooner or later they’ll snap.” Aaron Leventhal, CSCS, a trainer and the owner of Fit Studio in Minneapolis, says when it comes to making progress with any training plan, it’s important to pay attention to your energy level and how you’re feeling. Just because your calendar says you have six hours a day to work out, that doesn’t mean you should. “Understand that managing energy is different from managing time,” he says. Make sure you’re not stretching yourself too thin, and you’ll be more prepared to deal with the emotional challenges that may come up, he says. RELATED: Why Taking Time Off Is So Good for Your Health
5. Personal Growth Is a Team Sport
By the end of the series, Smith has worked through an incredible amount emotionally, and the scale has ticked down toward his goal weight. But it’s important to acknowledge that he didn’t do it alone, Lagoy says. In addition to his trainer and film crew, Smith enlists family members, friends, and writers he respects to listen through table-reads of his in-progress autobiography. When he runs a 5K through the streets of Dubai at night, he’s accompanied by his training team, and surrounded by fans yelling encouragement along the route. About a year before the series, he began seeing a therapist. In nearly every scene of the show, Smith talks through his feelings to someone — and having this kind of multi-person team is an important part of mental health, says Lagoy. Your team need not include expensive professionals. Advice, feedback, and the open ears of those around you can go a long way in helping you navigate the stresses, turns, and successes of setting out to meet a personal goal.
