And economic figures would suggest many of our pocketbooks have indeed been squeezed. Inflation is surging, increasing by 8.3 percent over the last year, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (PDF). Basics, like food, have experienced the largest increases over a 12-month span since 1979. About one-third of families who work full-time earn enough to cover basic needs (housing, food, healthcare), according to a study published earlier this year. And 32 percent of adults say that if they were faced with an unexpected $400 expense, they would need to borrow or sell something or not be able to cover it, according to a report from The Federal Reserve published in May. “Inflation is making prices go through the roof,” says financial psychotherapist Alex Melkumian, PsyD, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of the Financial Psychology Center in Los Angeles. It’s a problem for all types of earners. Regardless of income bracket, the current financial landscape is making what’s considered “normal” now feel out of reach for many people, Dr. Melkumian says. “Everyone is having to scale down.” There may not be an easy fix for inflation or low wages. But according to Melkumian: “It helps to pause and understand that the whole world is going through it.” Here’s more on why you might be feeling so stung by the current economic realities and how to cope. RELATED: Why Making Time for Holiday Traditions Is Self-Care, Too
Global Uncertainties Make Money Worries Worse
In 2022, U.S. adults ranked financial worries as their biggest source of stress, according to a report from the American Psychological Association (APA). Nearly 90 percent of adults said their top source of stress stemmed from inflation. Another 2022 survey from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine found that about 90 percent of Americans lost sleep at night because of economic or pandemic-related health worries. Money stress became more acute for many during the pandemic. Income loss and concern about financial security have been associated with increased depression, regardless of how much money people made before the pandemic, or their level of anxiety related to the coronavirus itself, according to a study. That research suggests it’s not only income loss or financial hits that cause financial stress; worrying about potential financial hardships causes stress, too. Uncertainty can also trigger anxiety, says Megan McCoy, PhD, a licensed marriage and family therapist and personal financial planning professor at Kansas State University in Manhattan, who researches the relationship between financial planning and mental health. Today, “the uncertainty is around Russia, the supply chain, inflation, and the housing market. The sense of ambiguity around the economy is still very present in many of our lives,” she says. Worries about money, especially if you’re struggling to make ends meet, take a toll on your well-being. “Financial stress has been linked to physical, emotional, and relational issues,” says Dr. McCoy. She points to a 2019 report from the Money and Mental Health Policy Institute that linked financial stress to depression, anxiety, and isolation. The ramifications on mental health become even more severe if someone cuts back on essentials, such as food, because of financial problems. And, McCoy says, research also finds that financial stress is linked to marital conflict and ability to parent. And food insecurity has been shown to impact the development of children of low-income parents, according to Georgetown University. If you have a chronic disease (such as diabetes, hypertension, or liver disease), you’re also more likely to have less financial stability compared with those who don’t, according to one study. This can make it even trickier to find your financial footing, particularly in tough times. RELATED: How to Practice Gratitude (and Why It’s So Good for You)
Money Trouble at the Holidays Delivers a Unique Sting
For many of us, gift-giving is a way of reinforcing social ties with friends and family. We can feel a deep sense of shame when we’re not able to give gifts or feel upset if we don’t receive gifts from people we’re close to who we’ve exchanged gifts with in the past, says Ed Coambs, a certified financial planner and financial marriage and family therapist who is the author of The Healthy Love and Money Way, and has developed financial psychology courses for couples and individuals. “When we are wrestling with shame, we are wrestling with our sense of acceptability,” Coambs says. We fear that our relationships with loved ones will be damaged if gifts aren’t exchanged, and our sense of shame only increases when we can’t afford to give a gift that seems big enough to express how much we value the relationship. On the flip side, we can also feel like our relationship isn’t valued if we don’t receive a gift or receive a gift that’s smaller than we expected, Coambs says. Some people see money as a magic salve for emotional distress. So when they don’t have the funds to create the perfect holiday experience (whether it’s buying gifts or other goodies of the season), they feel distressed instead of appreciating the potential to celebrate in less expensive ways, McCoy adds. Others equate their net worth with their self-worth, and feel any inability to afford holiday activities is a personal failure rather than a temporary financial setback, McCoy says. In other instances, people may feel so anxious about the potential for their finances to take a turn for the worse that they cut spending too drastically and miss out on opportunities to connect with friends and family. Especially because so many of us missed seeing family or exchanging presents because of the pandemic during the past two years, we may be putting even more pressure on ourselves to make the holidays and our gift-giving special these years when we are able to be together, says Debra L. Kaplan, a licensed professional counselor and financial therapist based in Tucson, Arizona. “People are compensating for the previous time. As a result, many are accruing debt due to their increased spending and the effects of price inflation,” she adds. “The feeling of ’not enough-ness’ is prevalent for many this year. It’s as if people need to make up for lost opportunities to show love and affection,” she says. “And the holidays are already rife with emotions and family expectations.” RELATED: 5 Ways to Give Better Gifts, According to Science
Tips for Coping With Financial Stress This Holiday Season
You may not be able to change your financial circumstances in time for the holidays, but there is a lot you can do to manage the stress you may feel around your spending this time of year, financial therapists say. Some things include:
Watch out for avoidant behavior when it comes to money trouble. Refusing to talk about money or open bills this time of year will only make your holiday financial stress feel worse, McCoy says.Reflect on (and talk about) past experiences about unmet gift expectations. Talking to someone about how you’ve felt in the past when you couldn’t give gifts or you didn’t receive gifts can help you build “financial empathy” into your relationships, Coambs says.Set boundaries to limit financial stress. Don’t be afraid to limit gifts you will give and what celebrations you will join this year if you can’t afford to do as much as you might like, Kaplan says. Consider how to reinvent how you celebrate to save money.Focus on experiences instead of things. Think outside the box and try a gift-making party, bake things for people, or throw a potluck instead of hosting a huge meal and footing the entire bill yourself, Melkumian suggests.Use resources in your area when you need them and when you can. Navigating the holidays when it’s challenging to buy groceries is a huge stressor. If your family is in need of food assistance, there are places you can turn to for help, says the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Start with the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s hunger hotline (866-3-HUNGRY), or text 97779 with a question that uses words “food” or “meals” and receive a response that directs you to places in your areas. The website FoodFinder is another place to check out. There are also programs that can help eligible residents pay bills, such as the home energy bill; visit USAGov for more info.
