While our Southern hemisphere friends are dragging out the barbeques and working on their beach bodies, we up here in the higher latitudes are donning jumpers, stacking firewood, and for some of us, preparing for the effects of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) — now there’s an apt acronym! Fancy-dress Halloween parties give way to stresses about Thanksgiving table settings and then to stuffing stockings and making it all work on shrinking budgets and waning energy reserves. It’s a difficult time for many and even more so (and more regularly) for those with disabilities.
Plan Your Coping Strategies Ahead of Time
When your particular disease — multiple sclerosis in my case — has the added bonus of having depression as part of the hand luggage, this time of year can get difficult in a hurry. And it’s not just those of us living with the diagnosis. Our partners’ mental and physical health (PDF) could use a bit of attention around the end of the year as well. Little things planned now — like planning, shopping, preparing, and freezing for a big dinner or picking up stocking stuffers beginning in the summer — can make the whole joyous season more fun (or at least easier to get through). Planning “me time” is an imperative. Having a few quiet minutes with a book or some soft music or spending time in a dark room or with the dog in the back garden can undo heaps of emotional knots, as well as put us in the right frame of mind before heading into the physical and emotional weight of the season. A regular exercise plan — even if it’s stretches in a seated position — can be good for heart, mind, and spirit in both figurative and literal senses of the thing. A healthy body will withstand and recover from the slings and arrows of Uncle Mort’s political rants and the in-laws tutting about lumps in the mashed potatoes.
Practical Solutions Have Emotional Benefits, Too
Though it can be difficult in the moment, if you plan and practice solutions-based problem-solving in advance, it can help you see the forest for the trees. Focusing on where you need to be and practicable ways to get there is almost always better than spinning in place about the situation. I think of Julia Child’s advice to have a soup on hand even if it’s not on the menu. That way, if things are taking longer than expected, you can buy yourself an extra half-hour to get the dinner finished. There is a soup for just about every situation. It’s up to us to think of one and have it in reserve.
Do Your Best to Be Self-Aware
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, pay attention to yourself. Nobody knows your body like you do. No one understands your anxiety triggers. Only you live in your skin and know what drives you out of it. That said, I rely heavily on my wife, Caryn, as a set of external eyes to see what I might not be attending to. I’ve gotten better at stopping the windup of unwanted situations or reactions and de-escalating them once they’ve started (all right, I’m better at slowing them), but I’ll still fall into my old habits on more occasions than I’d like to admit. In short, there is no short answer as to how to slow down and enjoy the end-of-year celebrations, other than to slow down and enjoy them. But a little advanced planning and self-awareness can sure help. Wishing you and your family the best of health. Cheers, Trevis
