To be honest, no one has ever accused me of having a bias toward the Pollyanna approach to life. My first husband used to tell me I was a pessimist, a glass-half-empty kind of person. To which I’d respond: “I don’t see the glass as half-full or half-empty. I acknowledge there’s water in the glass.” I’m a realist at heart. I try to see things clearly and accurately — so that my natural propensity to experience free-floating anxiety doesn’t get out of hand. RELATED: How to Handle Anxiety in the Time of COVID-19 Preventing anxiety from running amok is seriously challenging during this coronavirus crisis. But I have found that in addition to reading the latest news reports, focusing on stories of people who are doing extraordinary things to help others during this surreal time provides some comfort. These stories also serve as a reminder that we all have a part to play in not only protecting each other from this deadly virus, but also in keeping our spirits up during these incredibly trying times. RELATED: 5 Ways the Coronavirus Is Changing Everyday Life Before we knew it, world-renowned cellist Yo-Yo Ma shared #SongsofComfort on YouTube amid the coronavirus outbreak, while Mary Chapin Carpenter and Coldplay’s Chris Martin have livestreamed songs via YouTube to cheer us up and help us feel less isolated. Kids’ book author Mo Willems (Knuffle Bunny) started livestreaming lunchtime doodle sessions via YouTube, while actor-comedian Josh Gad, along with other celebrities, began offering an online story time series for families, The Los Angeles Times reported on March 30. And who can forget the scenes of police in Spain playing guitar and singing to entertain families during a nationwide lockdown, as reported by The Guardian on March 23, 2020. Meanwhile, ordinary people are doing their part to make things a bit better for others. There have been stories about communities of people throughout the United States who are sewing and delivering homemade reusable face masks to first responders and healthcare workers, and of people who are delivering food and household essentials to at-risk people who shouldn’t venture out to the store. It’s almost enough to make one think that our collective sense of humanity could be on the verge of being restored — if it weren’t for the toilet paper hoarders and price gougers among us. Whether it’s through small acts of kindness or major acts of generosity, the people who are doing good for others during this crisis are upstanders, people who recognize that something is wrong, needed, or unjust and are stepping up to work to make it right, according to Change.org. While the upstander concept was originally applied to children who were standing up to bullies, it’s relevant to anyone who is taking action on any form of social injustice. As Lise Van Susteren, MD, a psychiatrist and climate activist based in Washington, DC, and I wrote in our forthcoming book, Emotional Inflammation: Discover Your Triggers and Reclaim Your Equilibrium During Anxious Times: “A powerful remedy to these anxious, turbulent times we’re experiencing is to consciously recognize and confront inaction, to move from being a bystander to being an upstander. … It’s about moving from observing in silence to making good noise.” RELATED: 20 Tips for Practicing Self-Care During the Coronavirus Pandemic
Don’t Underestimate the Good You Can Do From Your Home
Sure, few of us have the platform or resources to take action the way José Andrés or Yo-Yo Ma have, but each of us can perform small acts of kindness and generosity that can have impacts big and small. In recent weeks, I have made donations to nonprofits that provide food to people who need it, written to my state senators in support of relief funds for small businesses, and checked on elderly neighbors and brought them groceries. I will continue to look for more opportunities to take action in small ways. I hadn’t done any of these things with the intention of boosting my own mood or mindset. But — surprise! — each action, indeed, had that unexpected positive effect. And it’s probably not a fluke that they did. Research in a 2016 issue of BMJ Open found that people who volunteer to help other people or organizations have higher levels of mental well-being, especially as they get older, than those who don’t. This may be partly because other studies have found that it feels good to be good, which may contribute to wellbeing and happiness. Another possible explanation: In troubled times, being an upstander helps you move from feeling helpless to helpful when it comes to changing a troubling situation or its outcome (even when the problems are large in scope). When you feel like you’re working toward creating a better today for others or trying to improve tomorrow for the greater good, that fosters a sense of hope. And that hope is something we all need, especially right now. There are so many ways, both large and small, that we can all become upstanders, during the coronavirus crisis (as well as after). Some of the things we can do include:
Sending money to a cause or nonprofit we believe inSigning (physical or online) petitions to support relief funding for small businesses and people in needContacting public officials to let them know our thoughts about what needs to be done, or writing a letter to the editor or an opinion piece for a local newspaperVolunteering to help nonprofits like GlobalGiving or the Center for Disaster Philanthropy to raise emergency funds or collect donated supplies for those who don’t have access to these itemsGoing to the grocery store or drugstore for a family member or neighbor who’s at higher risk than we areJoining forces with organizations like Meals on Wheels, Feeding America, or No Kid Hungry to finance and coordinate the delivery of meals (from 6 feet away, of course) to people who otherwise wouldn’t have them — or to the first responders and medical personnel who are taking care of us allHelping our local restaurants stay afloat by ordering takeout mealsUsing FaceTime or other means to videoconference with friends and family members who are alone and sheltering in placeUsing our talents to cheer someone else up, whether it’s by reading or singing to them, telling funny stories, or cooking for them
The point is: Everyone can take action in some way, even while social distancing, by becoming an upstander. It’s a way to flip the script from all-consuming negativity to shining a slightly brighter light on our collective humanity and perhaps our future. Let’s face it: We don’t know when this sh*t-show is going to end. While we’re stuck in a Groundhog Day repetitive loop of fear, isolation, and stress related to this dreadful virus, the onus is on each of us to try to move the needle in a more compassionate direction. Stacey Colino is an award-winning writer, specializing in health and psychology, and the coauthor of the book, Emotional Inflammation: Discover Your Triggers and Reclaim Your Equilibrium During Anxious Times.
