From your own research or that of others, what have you learned about stress that you didn’t know or that surprised you?
It has amazed me to learn that 20 percent of the population has a type of stress sensitivity that makes them more susceptible to the negative effects of stress. This sensitivity is genetically based and causes some people to be more influenced by the highs and lows of life. When stress-sensitive people grow up in healthy, supportive environments with secure attachments, they tend to thrive more than nonsensitive people, as they adapt more to what’s positive in their lives. But if they grow up in stressful environments or experience any sort of trauma, they adapt more in a negative way and can easily feel overstimulated, overwhelmed. This leads to an increased risk of health complications, like digestive issues, anxiety, depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, and suicide. RELATED: The United States of Stress: You’ll Never Think About Stress the Same Way Again I am so grateful for the pioneering work of Elaine Aron, PhD, who first brought this issue to light, and to the others who have continued her research — something I also am working to do by exploring the connection between sensitivity, negativity bias, and burnout. I’d say the other thing is that the more I feel like stress is so unique and personal, the more I also learn that much of what we struggle with is so universal.
We all need to be better informed about stress. What is something we should know to increase our stress IQ?
Everyone should first understand that stress is a complex and dynamic relationship we have with the circumstances of our lives — and that ultimately, it comes down to the gap between demand and capacity. Stress itself isn’t good or bad, but rather energy potential that can be used in positive or negative ways. Becoming more aware of our relationship with stress can instantly provide us with the insight we need to appreciate where we’re at in the present moment and make the necessary adjustments to course correct.
What would you recommend to help people lower their daily stress levels and function better in the midst of a stressful situation, incident, or moment?
The most powerful technique I’ve personally used for stress reduction is having a humor buddy, not for laughing at what’s bad about life, but for creating ways to laugh and see the lighter side of life more often. A humor buddy also provides the social support of someone who can help nudge your neurons into a more relaxed and flexible state. In the midst of a stressing out, my first recommendation would be to see if you can find something funny to alleviate the pressure. If not, shifting your attention to your breath and thinking about something or someone you feel grateful for is a quick way to recharge your brain and body, giving you more resilience to meet the challenge at hand. It quickly became clear that the only way I could really master stress was to learn everything I could about it and then try to help others going through similar challenges. Building community and being able to share our journey with others is one of the most powerfully healing processes we have, and something I encourage more people to do.
Have you ever experienced a meltdown? If so, where and why?
Yes, more often than I’d like to admit. And it’s usually because I’m so passionate about what I’m doing and so curious about doing more things that I spread myself too thin once again. But I get better every time. There was a point when the meltdowns would last months at a time, and now they may be days, but more often they’re moments. I am very clear about my personal relationship with stress and the challenges of being highly stress-sensitive in a very overly stressful and stimulating world. I’ve gotten very good at finding the irony in my meltdowns, and thanks to the amazing support of my family and friends, I don’t beat myself up about it as much anymore. It’s all part of the journey. And as I like to remind myself, it’s the broken places that allow the light to shine through.
