Got a cold? No big deal, we can still share that milkshake. Even feeling a little ill? Pshht, the endorphins from sex will help fight off the bacteria. But a virus that has health experts scrambling for a vaccine and forcing government officials to close down parts of their countries — mmm, I’d like to hold off, thanks. And I’m not alone; one recent date canceled on me because he watched Contagion the night before and decided to play it safe. Last week Tinder issued a PSA about the novel coronavirus, and many app users are talking about how the virus has affected their dating lives, as in this BuzzFeed News article. RELATED: How to Handle Anxiety in the Time of COVID-19
Dating Someone Who Doesn’t Care About Catching the Coronavirus
I started seeing “Nick” in January. We hit it off pretty quickly and despite living in different boroughs and having different schedules, we managed to see each other every week. But then we hit a bump. A few days before the first confirmed coronavirus case in New York was reported, I came down with strep throat. Thankfully, I was able to ride it out and within a week I got a clean bill of health from my doctor, but by that time the governor declared a state of emergency. Although I was on the mend, I still didn’t feel 100 percent and wanted to be cautious about it so I told Nick, “Just a heads up, I won’t be physical with you as I’m keeping my distance from everyone now.” When he jokingly asked if we could even hug, I said that was fine but I was wary of kissing, given the advice I’d read discouraging it. He responded, “Oh, come on. I know your precautions are valid. But if I’m gonna get it [COVID-19], I’m gonna get it. There’s no clarity about what to do or what not to do right now.” As I had been reporting on the outbreak for Everyday Health, I decided to share what I had learned with him. After some testy back and forth, we didn’t end up meeting up in person but instead talked on the phone later that evening. Chatting on the phone is not usually an activity I enjoy doing with friends or family, much less with romantic interests, but this time it was kind of perfect. The call seemed to satisfy a need for me to express myself without having the pressure of being physically present. It’s still a work in progress though. I think the COVID-19 outbreak seems to be serving as a test that couples are usually presented with later in their relationships. Is it my illness or the virus or just that we’re fundamentally different? Time will tell. In the meantime, I’m going to start getting used to calling people. RELATED: Can You Get Coronavirus From Your Dog? Plus More Pet-Related Questions Answered Being with Brad is relaxing and a nice break away from reality, but as COVID-19 has quickly descended on New York City, I’m more aware of his employment. Brad works at a hospital, and while he has not directly been involved with any patients who are exhibiting symptoms of the virus, it’s at the back of my mind. As a healthcare worker, he has the highest risk of getting infected, according to a report in The New York Times. While his profession is only one part of him, during this outbreak, it has now become, in my eyes, his most dominant character trait. On our last date, I told him I was craving Chinese food and he warned against going down to Chinatown. After I remarked that seemed borderline racist, he explained his reasoning was that the area is a hub for repatriated people coming back from China, and therefore it would be more likely the virus would be floating around there. I told him I rarely ever go there anyway but later it struck me as odd. How could he view that area as more risky than a hospital? But then again, that’s not my profession, not my normal. Nevertheless, I may be taking solo walks in the park for the foreseeable future. RELATED: 4 Misconceptions About the Coronavirus
Dating Someone Who Is Immunocompromised
Recently, I was chatting with a friend, “Nancy,” who mentioned how she and her boyfriend of four years are coping with the virus outbreak. He has type 1 diabetes, and when I asked her how she planned on living with someone whose immune system is compromised, she said they were going to visit his endocrinologist to see what steps they should take. The endocrinologist recommended leaving New York City, since they lived together in an apartment in the Lower East Side. He told them it would be better to live somewhere more spread out than in such a congested area. A few days later they relocated to his family’s place in New Jersey, where there’s more space and a backyard so they won’t go too stir crazy, given that some towns have even closed parks, according to an article on New Jersey’s Baristanet. Nancy said they also stocked up on a month’s supply of his medication, like insulin and glucose tabs. “The endocrinologist said it was a personal decision if we wanted to separate,” Nancy said, adding, “It would be different if I had the COVID-19 symptoms, but for now we’re banking on me not having it.” She told me they’ll continue taking the necessary precautionary measures, per the American Diabetes Association. While a lot remains unknown and uncertainty seems to be the overarching theme of our everyday lives now, I’m very curious to see if writing love letters comes back into fashion. Consider finding somebody on Hinge you really like: Instead of meeting up at a bar or at the movies, you have to oblige to social distancing and pour out your feelings and best jokes in text messages, emails, or even in a snail mail letter. Just make sure to wash your hands after opening the letter!
